Monday, August 21, 2006

Laying My Burdens Down

So tomorrow I go join corporate America..well at least part time. Tomorrow I start training as a legal secretary. I will be working downtown four days out of the week 9am to 3:30pm. I will be able to put my kids on the bus, go to my job, drive home, meet them at the house when they get off the bus, do all my other duties and still be expected to be sane, happy and loving! I am terrified! No, that's putting it mildly, I'm scared shitless! I have had to work really hard at being sane, happy and loving! Somedays it doesn't come natural! (can I hear an Amen). I love structure and routine, I thrive on it. But that doesn't always make for a happy family! For some odd reason God didn't program young children to obey on command and take orders. And what we as a family are about to embark upon is alot of "out of control" for awhile. It's going to take some time to have a routine in the morning getting the kids and myself out the door plus I'm scared I won't be the mom I have worked hard to be, I don't want to be a mom that is tired and cranky all the time. I fight that to hard already, let alone starting a 25 hour job outside the home. Did I fail to mention that we are starting a church and my husband is working out of the living room?!?! I know this is for a season, I know that I have been blessed with the opportunity to stay home this long with my kids, I know that ultimately my kids will do great and will rise to the occasion when they are given more responsibility. But as I have emphazied over and over on this blog..CHANGE SUCKS! So I tomorrow I will buck up and take it all in stride but on the inside I am having faith that ultimately God has got it all figured out and that means I get to sit back, cry a little and lay this burden down.

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